Welcome to our ool. (notice, there is no P in it.)
You know the rules.
no running.
no diving.
no splashing.
Always bring your own towel, your own suit, and be sure to wear plenty of sunscreen.
We all swim in this pool, and we all have our favorite spots. Some like the deep end, others like it where their feet can barely touch. Some like it up to their knees, and others only their ankles. Why?
Because we are all, to some degree, SHALLOW.
That's right kids, shallow. Don't believe me? Swim this way.
I like girls. An incredibly true, and fairly blunt statement, but do I like just any ol' gal?
No.
Why?
Because I'm shallow.
{Picture this}
463 pound Annabell. Annabell is 46 years old, and out lookin' for love. She has flaming red hair, brilliantly blue eyeshadow, red rose lipstick...and speakin' a shadows...a 5'o'clock one as well. Her teeth are a buttered popcorn yellow, and as her sausage like fingers fix her hair, she puckers her lips in her handheld mirror. I notice her purple, llama covered sundress, and as I grow closer the classic, socks under the sandals combo. Her 7 dollar perfume is enough to reveal my lunch, as it mingles with the deodorant abandoned armpits. (Given her girth, deodorant is not only impossible, it's impractical.)
Now, if you have painted a likeness anywhere near mine, Annie, isn't my type of girl.
And how do I know this? I have never talked, nor seen her in my life, and know nothing, absolutely nothing about her. For all i know, she possesses every single attribute as would my dream girl.
She loves sushi. She adores the sunshine. She is fascinated by World War II. Loves to laugh, and wants to visit Europe one day. Perfect.
How would one unearth this inner beauty? How could you know that under that llama infested monstrosity, the girl of your dreams is waiting? Well I wouldn't. Because i would outwardly judge Annabell's situation, and come to many, biased conclusions.
- Look at her! She can't even take care of herself.
- That outfit is...all around wrongo bongo.
- She is definitely not sure dry.
Wow Chris, you're a jerk. Oh am I? Would you approach her brother, Alexander, who has an uncanny, if not creepy family resemblance? Why wouldn't you? Because looks matter.
In my experience, the first thing we do to size up another potential playmate, is notice their outsides.
You don't feel an attraction, you move on.
Think about it.
You notice some dude looking fly at a party, great smile, great style, GREAT BUTT. So, you start putting out that vibe. You finally get his attention, lock eyes, and...boom, a connection is made. It is then your priority to go interact with this guy, because that's the next step. Your first thought is not, "OK, I need to talk to every single person in this room, because you never know how wonderful someone is on the inside, if all you do is judge their outside."
If this is how the rest of the world works and I've failed to catch the train, please, someone, correct me. Or, am I absolutely right? Is it possible to see someone, and know, not to mention see, so much more than meets the eye?
I for one, try to look somewhat presentable. I am concerned with the way I look, because I want my someone to be concerned about how THEY look.
I go to the gym, and put my body through ridiculously foolish pain and torture, because I want my someone to take care of their body too.
I brush my teeth, because EVERYONE SHOULD. No excuses here.
Does this make me shallow?
We want to look good with who we are with. This goes for boys and girls. Hey fellas, check out my girl...she is SMOKIN' hot.
Hey ladies, keep your hands off my man, cause he is ALL mine.
It's like a nice car. Anyone, can look good in a nice car.
We do unimaginably terrible things to ourselves for the approval of others. Whatever it takes for us to get that sexy factor.
Lipo. Breast augmentation. Tummy tuck. Face lift. Stomach staple. Hair transplant. Laser.
Raymond is 264 pounds. Has no sense of personal hygiene, and STILL plays with Pokemon cards. He adores cargo shorts, Jerry Springer, and death metal. He eats nothing but fast food, and hasn't done his laundry since 04'. He also just dumped his girlfriend, because he didn't think she wasn't pretty enough for him.
Is Raymond shallow?
We all have likes and dislikes. Things we can't stand, and things we adore.
Meeting someone new is like putting together a jig-saw puzzle. We choose a box that appeals to us, open it up, and find our some one's insides. Likes, dislikes, habits, flaws everything. The only way to really get down to the raw, exposed someone, is to put their puzzle together.
Often the box looks AMAZING on the outside, but houses only boring, and incompatible pieces. Not all the pieces fit. So you put the box away, choose a new one, and start over.
Other times, the pieces all fit and you live happily ever after.
Bottom line?
Like it or not. The initial attraction is more often outward than inward. Why? The outward sparks the attraction, that ignites the quest to learn more. Without the intial attraction, nothing is learned because no effort is involved. Nothing more is searched for. Your mind is made up. Make sense?
Christopher, what does this mean for average looking guys like us?
Well first and foremost, we have to fortify other areas of ourselves to make up for the other not so fortified ones. We know we struggle with looks, but do we with personality? NO. Conveniently enough that is our strong suit. Lucky for us, if you are somewhat near decent looking, a powerful personality can do wonders for skin and bones lacking a certain finesse.
An attraction level can triple at the discovery of another's hidden passions.
We all have our degrees of shallowness, but I believe that this is important. It makes us who we are and attracts those we want to be with. It also weeds out the yucky, smelly, and time wasters. So stay a little shallow, be a little picky, but do not overlook the average, because if you do, many, just like me, are outta luck.
My hands are getting all pruny, time to get out. Pass the sunscreen.
Christopher Michael
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