all the single ladies.

"Love is a game in which one always cheats."
-Honore De Balzac

On this sphere of estrogen and testosterone that we call earth, there is a constant struggle. Not for land or glory, those battles come and go. Eloquently put, it is a battle of the sexes. The war that has raged since a boy named Adam, and a girl named Eve made a poor, but necessary decision, to have a little snack and the Forbidden Fruit Cafe.

This has led for a constant fight for the upper hand in society. Men are strong and hardworking. Women are mothers, one of the most sacred callings in the world. They are caring, and sensitive. Passionate, driven, and full of wisdom. To me personally, women are MUCH more good looking and sexy, but no matter how long your legs may be, or how beautifully your hair falls across your perfectly symmetrical cheek bones, men are sometimes hesitant.

Frightened almost to approach you, because of the very looks you wear. A good looking girl is hard for me to confront because, sadly i lack the courage, and the facial structure to do so. Women are to angels as men are to gargoyles. Having said this, i have detected a pattern, and from it a hypothesis on women, i hesitate to say it because of the uproar it may cause, but hopefully it will open a few pairs of eyes. Are you ready ladies?

You're all crazy.

There i said it. Now before you put the blame on men, or call me a self righteous pig, hear me out for a few minutes. I have evidence to back this "erroneous" claim.

This conclusion, is based on various claims and nothing but the most reliable of sources...which is in fact ironic, because all subjects have been women, and therefore are impaired of proper judgement, but if I'm wrong, please, by all means, stop me.Now i realize I'm picking on you ladies. You've done nothing wrong and don't deserve this one sided opinion. I'm only an outsider looking through the stained glass of your lives. I just can't help but notice a pattern, and this is what it boils down to.

You like to be treated poorly.

Why? What is it about jerks that is so attractive to women? Is it an obstacle you want to conquer? A trophy you want to claim? You have this instilled sense, that somehow you can break him of his ways and turn him into whatever your heart desires. That you, and only you can make this boy love you.

Like breaking a wild stallion.

I have seen countless examples of this. Now things don't start off this way mind you, it slowly but surely becomes apparent. In the beginning things are like a fairy tale. He is sweet, funny, and charming, but you're not fooled. He's a guy and they are all the same. They want a little action, and they are willing to go to great lengths to get it. They will say anything and do almost just as much to prove themselves. Whatever it takes. So naturally, you throw up your walls. "He will never get through these," you foolishly tell yourself.

Time sings it's tick tock song, and you have no walls left. He has torn them all down and moved into your newly vacated heart, in which you gladly accept. He has proved to you that he is different and that he cares for you and only you.

Then things start to change.

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers

He lies to you. He cheats on you. He uses you.

The term love is blind?... never rung so true.

You know he is lying to you and seeing someone behind your back, and you know better, but you invite him right back for more. You love him, and he loves you. People make mistakes. I can forgive him. Your love is your undoing. The trap is set, and baited.

Your friends warn you, they try to make you see. They are desperate to rescue from a grim fate. You don't know what to do anymore.

Now some of you are smart, you tell him to get lost and never come back. He isn't worth your tears or hurt. It's not that easy. This boy you chose is very persuasive, and good with words. He convinces you that he is "not like that anymore," "he's changed," "he loves you."

"It's me or her," you say. "Of course it's you babe," he pleads. "She doesn't mean anything to me, i made a mistake and i've changed." Funny thing is. one isn't enough for him, he's already had this conversation with someone else, and he said the EXACT same things to HER as well.

It seems to me that you are holding onto hope. Hoping one day he will completely change his ways and come running back into your arms to stay. Is there anything wrong with this? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Trust and compassion are qualities not to be brushed aside. It's something that makes you women so beautiful and attractive.

And ironically enough, he insists nothing has changed, when in fact everything has. It's like you're dating someone completely different. His stories don't match up. You don't go out and have fun. You haven't laughed in weeks. He talks in circles and gets angry when he is backed into a corner or caught in a lie.

And then it happens. You find out that everything he said he would never do, he has been doing. Over and over again, and your fragile heart is broken all over again.

Now what?

You're left all alone to pick up the pieces.You kick yourself for being so foolish, how did i get into this situation? It will never happen to me again. You cry and remember all the good days. He is gone, but is it for good? Before you know it, he's back. This time with explanations and rationalisations, and then he does this...

He makes all this your fault.

What's worse than his absurd lies, is the fact that you start to believe them. He uses his words as weapons, and makes you feel worse than you do already. You made him cheat, because you did this, or didn't do this...he had no choice.

Some of you are stronger, and don't fall for this. You know he was wrong and you now have learned your lesson. The fact that your ok, annoys the livin' outta him. You should be consigned to lay in bed for the rest of your days crying, because your heart is so broken. But wait, he has moved on, why can't you? He never cared, why should you?

So you move forward...with new purpose. "I'll never fall into that trap again," you promise yourself. NO MORE RELATIONSHIPS. So you go out, meet new people, remember what's it's like to laugh again and have fun, and then you feel like you are ready to try again, smarter and stronger this time around. The exact moment he catches wind of you dating someone other than himself, you receive a text message, "that was fast," or "whose the new boy?" Something like that.

You can't move on, he won't let you. He wants you still stuck on him. Still holding out, waiting for that miracle change of heart. The fact that your with another, stirs up jealousy he didn't know he had. The fact that you are happy now bothers him. He isn't by any means, so why should you be?

You never know what you've got until it's gone...and he wants you back because misery loves company...

Does this ring true to any of you? It's merely an observation from a love famished young boy. I could be wrong...but i could be right. I have been cast aside because i am too perfect.

You heard me. Too perfect, and it makes perfect sense, because some of you don't want the trust, the affection, or to be spoiled beyond measure. You would rather be miserable. Drowning in regrets and memories. You all deserve to be treated like queens ladies. Valued and held in such high regard, men are willing to set aside their own needs and put yours before their own. Never settle. Hold those standards high and never lower them. It might take time to find a gentleman willing to build his own just as high to meet your own. Don't let boys walk all over you, meet them head on, and stand your ground, and as a good friend of mine, John Mayer, said "Say what you need to say."

Never settle.

Do i think you're all really crazy? No, i don't. Sometimes it may seem that way, but that's what love is, taking chances and learning from them. Being vulnerable and moving forward.

Love is organized chaos.

"To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception; it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in eternity."
-Soren Kierkegaard

i don't need to say anymore, did i leave anything out?

Sincerely yours ladies,

A nice guy finishing last,

Christopher Michael