more secrets.

back by popular demand, but more a means to get some weight off me chest.(just spoke in pirate. you're welcome.)

the vault of Chris has been opened once more...apparently, this being my third confession post, i have A LOT of secrets, but don't tell anyone.

I have a nickname for a body part.
Sir Christopher.
That's ALL i will say.

i stuff my candy wrappers between the couch cushions, then blame it on my brother.

I believe in the booty call, as long as it's a mutual booty.

i'm jealous of my best friend. VERY jealous.

i am petrified of spiders. 

little creeps can die.

i can't stand bad breath,

tic tac sir?

i own a snuggie, and i'm ashamed of how perfect it is.

i don't floss at my dental specialists specifications.

hey, we are all lazy sometimes.

ghost stories are forbidden when i'm camping.

still a little scuured.

i have a commitment problem.

trying to work on that.

i think good looking married women, 

are more attractive than single ones.

i wear a wedding ring at work to boost my tips.

i sleep in the same bed as my dog.

(he hogs the covers)

i've fallen in love with someone i've never met.

i've never had a cavity!

(hence the flossing dilemma.)

im addicted to flaming hot cheetos.

i faked sick to get out of a blind date...twice.

i've always wanted to live with a girl, but in a non-sexual environment.

i lost my virgin lips, at 18.

i'm WAY too involved in music.

i believe Seinfeld to be the best TV series of all time.

FRIENDS CAN SUCK IT.

fall is my favorite time of year.

i have a minor jacket obsession.

when i get to know a girl, i place her in a wife setting and see if she has what it takes.

even if i have no shot.

my deepest fear, is divorce.

my bragging rights, are my friends.

my insecurity, is my looks.

i sometimes blow dry my hair.

i think my nose is HUGE.

i don't tan naked. 

think about all the other nakedness 

in that little cancer tube.

safety first.

i wish the snow would stay in the mountains,

and stay off my road.

i pray that my future wife will be okay marrying

someone who has nothing, 

but will give her everything.

im more vain than i'd like to admit.

i hate my teeth, i have fangs. eat your heart out edward.

i laugh at my own jokes.

i love girls who aren't afraid to speak their minds.

im addicted to butter.

i wish i was smarter.

i wish i was stronger.

i wish i wasn't so complicated.

--christopher michael