confessions.

i like interior design.
i find it terribly interesting and spontaneous.
porcelain bathtubs.
brick walls.
copper pipes.

music is my everything.
nothing, on earth can change my mood so quickly.
and there is nothing more attractive than a female who knows good music.
play it again SAM.

I'm extremely self conscious.

my looks are a huge concern for me. shocked? i grew up around friends, pockets full of cleverly folded notes, and covered in clingy girls. for years i thought there was something wrong with me(there are many things, i assure you.) so if you look into my eyes and i look away, it's not because i don't trust you.

i like to be alone.
I'm a thinker. some would accuse me of being an OVERthinker, and they would be right. i need a lot of me time. i believe myself to be extremely complex, so sometimes i need to figure myself out before i venture out into this crazy world.

I'm extremely shy.

i may not seem it, but i am. i put on this front of being comfortable and very outgoing when i meet new people, but in truth, I'm screaming on the inside, frantically searching for the exit sign. for you to truly peel off my skin and look inside, you must be patient and unprejudiced.

i hate mouth noises.
people who chew with their mouths open should, perish in flames. it makes my bones want to come out. people who smack their lips or can't breath through their noses...gross. make out noises are OK(as long as it's me and a babe.)

i sit down to pee sometimes. don't judge.
guys get tired to.

I'm an extremely good judge of character, well...initially.
it's when i get involved with said persons that my judgement becomes clouded. ironic how that works eh?

i cannot say no.

it's almost impossible. i am pretty good at dodging the requests. but the word "no" will never escape my lips.  it's even worse when just saying no, would save me weeks of trouble or heartache, and still, no refusal.

Especially to females.

Damn you testosterone.

I'm a sucker for blonde's.
I've dated red heads, brunettes, and black haired beauties, but it's still you blonde's who turn my head.

I'm a movie watcher.

i love catching all the little subtleties. the facial expressions, the body language. the details. when i find someone who appreciates it like i do, there's gonna be fireworks.

i worship food.
nuff said.

i had a short modeling career.
it ended the day it began.

i can't stand to see someone in pain.
i have to change the channel, look away, plug my ears, leave the room, whatever it takes. it makes me physically ill.

I'm an insomniac.

i lay awake in bed and stare at the ceiling. i wonder what tomorrow will bring. if things will be OK. so text me or something, save me from myself.

airplanes, give me chills.
ever since i was little, no matter what i would be doing, i would hear an airplane, stop and look up. when i go to airshows, the beauty and sleekness of a fighter plane puts tears in my eyes.
man WAS meant to fly.

i am still in love.

I've run away.

twice.

once when i was 14 or 15, i took a fishing pole and a loaf of bread and went up a canyon for a day or two. and again when i was 23, i needed to escape from the world, so i checked into a hotel for the night. No i didn't meet a mistress there.

I'm jealous.

of peoples writing.

their strength.

their looks.

Spiders scare the livin' outta me.

i don't drink.
even though i have been sorely tempted. on MULTIPLE occasions.

i still have lots of secrets.

i really wish people would give me feedback on what i write. not for self absorption reasons, merely for peace of mind, and improvements.

i am far, too trusting.

more confessions to come I'm sure.

tata

-christopher(still needs a night light) michael