Where I've been.

Welcome back readers. Where have you been?

I apologize for my absence…let go of writing to focus on my photography, which should be starting to look pretty damn good with all that hard work and research I've been doing. Cross you fingers. thanks.

Now.

Here is where I have been.

Utah Valley University.

Home of the Wolverines.

I started school back in chilly January. Apart from a few, less than praiseworthy professors, I am loving the transition in my life. I now live in books and knowledge, instead of a dimly lit cafe, serving obesity and arrogance. I study every night, and thrive on the structure. Going from a work to play schedule everyday for 4 years, you think the transition would be hard, but my A- average would prove otherwise. As much as I hate to admit this, I'm growing up. I feel like I'm just starting to live my life. A life that is 3 years behind everyone else. Those in my senior class who are now married and tucking in their children in modest condos and townhouses. Those who have careers and handsome salaries, didn't wait around like me. I'm an old freshmen who is still afraid of the big kids, and falling asleep in astronomy. 

C'mon, i still have acne for cryin' out loud. 

Here is where I am. 

I'm becoming harder and harder to impress, and I hate that i have to say it. Blame it on my past failed flings in relationships. I pass a million faces in the hallways of school, and every other face seems to be a female one. Some are absolutely beautiful. 

Some are just easy to look at. 

Blonde ones, brown ones, red heads too. 

The faces are all I see. My headphones block out any incoming transmissions, other than thoughts. I have no desire to strike up a conversation with them, or even get a number. No interest in finding out the bands they love, or their favorite places to eat. No late night booty calls or one night stands. I just stopped faking like i was interested. 

I've become comfortable being by myself, and I can't decide if this is good, or bad.

Looking at it from my 97% emotional thinking side...this sucks. 

Nobody to spoil.

Nobody to take out.

No late night movies.

No deep conversations.

NO AFFECTION.(#1 reason)

No presents on Christmas!(....OK tied for #1 reason.)

As a logical one, it's the best thing ever.

I save my money.

I don't take chances.

Time is my own. 

I can focus on my school and photography.

Nobody gets hurt. 

No one to worry about. 

Now, if any of you are like, "Christopher, maybe your gay?"

Get that outta your mind, NOT the case at all.

I'll forever love girls and their particular anatomic structure. Man is a noble creature yes, but woman, is king. 

I just don't feel like chasing anymore. I'm tired of the games I always lose, and the rules I never understand. 

After all, that's all I've wanted and been surrounded with my whole life.

Keep looking for "the one." Never stop searching.

I figure if "the one" is out there, I'll meet her, if i look, or if i don't. 

Right? Or am I just a crazy 24 year old who has no idea how love works, and should start buying as many cats as i can and live alone for the rest of my life?

I've come to the conclusion that my scheme of meeting someone is far too grand for reality.

I ride a motorcycle and do what i want. Girls will come and go, but none will ever change me. Then along comes one who is different, and i give up my rebellious lifestyle and fall madly in love. We meet in the supermarket after her bad breakup and she forgets her wallet and tumbles into tears at the register(obviously today has just been too much). I offer to pay while her hands divert the tears and make my getaway. Days later we meet again when I run out of gas and she offers me a ride...the rest is history. 

Sounds more like a low budget chick flick, than a way to meet someone.

Another reason is some of the ones close to me in life have shown their true colors, and want me around when they need a shoulder to cry on, or a earlier planned outing falls through, the guy backs out. A fall back, meet Chris, the convenient friend, who is a gentleman and always pays.

It made me realize that my social pool is heavily fished, and all the good ones seem to have been caught. 

I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm perfectly OK being holed up at home with my nose in a book for now. Or working on my motorcycle, playing the guitar or cooking dinner. I don't need a someone, and i don't need to be somewhere. 

I'm content.

Sure a few more bucks in my pocket would seal the deal, but let's not talk crazy.

I still have my boys. Those guys are the closest things I have or may ever have to a girlfriend. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. They keep me socially acceptable and literate. 

There is a twist to this tale. After a few months of rigorous experimental projects and intense documentation, I have formed a thesis on disinterest in dating, conclusion...it drives girls crazy. 

They want to be your exception, and be the one who changed you of your stubborn anti relationship ways. Why this is, I'll never know, but it works. They can't stand you not being interested in them, and i highly recommend it to anyone struggling for attention. 

Not trying to brag mind you, just stating facts. So there it is, where I've been and what I'm thinking. If anything else worthy of note pops into this tangled noodle a mine, you'll be the first to know.

loveyouandstuff.